Jake

Yeah, I am learning to enjoy cooking. And man, I am learning a lot every time I cook. It's called "failing forward". Haha. Like, for example, when simmering peppers and onions and garlic and sausage and rice, make sure you turn the actual burner that you're cooking on to low, instead of the one next to it. That will keep everything from burning all to shit.

Well, not to shit, but the pan's a little singed, and the rice is a little under done. And hey, we know the smoke alarms work!

Mm Mm.

but I feel obligated to, due to a sudden rash of recent posts by a very dear friend concerning today's weather:

Tornadoes are for pussies. I took a walk because the lights went out. Wearing my awesome straw hat.

Just because the idiots on the news make something out to be a big deal doesn't mean it actually is as bad as they say. And it wasn't.

Invest in a hat.

Well I haven't posted in a long time!

Today I am moving out of my house. Gotta get everything together.

It's a big enough step that it'll probably help kick me in the pants to get my shit together, so that in a year I can get a better place. Not that this place is bad, it's a pretty decent apartment. But hey, you know me, I tend to like more lavish living spaces, kinda. But who knows how things'll be in a year.

I like this house a lot, I have lived here for the VAST majority of my life. But I am never coming back. Anyways, we'll have a get-together in a while, once everything gets situated. Yay.

Anyways, it's time to move. See ya'll on the flip side!

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So this was MY St. Patty's day in a nutshell:

Sometimes it seems to me that people think that I am a self-development uber-fanatic, like it dominates my life. I am big on it, but it doesn't take that much time! So becuase I thought that maybe somebody somewhere might think that, I present to you folks my self development scheduale:
Morning: Wake up, read whatever chapter I'm on in The Greatest Salesman in the World and read my intention statements. - est. time: 5 minutes
Day: Listen to a CD or tape instead of the radio when I'm driving around, going about my day.
Night: Read 15 minutes of my bible(I'm currently reading Proverbs, my favorite book in the bible). Then read, listen to a CD, or watch a video for 40 minutes or so. Then I read Greatest Salesman and my intention statements again, aloud. Then I go to bed.

My book of the month is currently The Purpose Driven Life.

So yeah, that's fun! Anyways, that's all I got. Good night.

The dogs were recalled, racing behind our lines. We switched over to our Primary Enticement Mechanism. Every army had one by now. The Brits would use bagpipes, the Chinese used bugles, the Sou'fricans used to smack their rifles with their assegais and belt out these Zulu war chants. For us, it was hard-core Iron Maiden. Now, personally, I've never been a metal fan. Straight classic rock's my thing, and Hendrix's "Driving South" is about as heavy as I get. But I had to admit, standing there in that desert wind, with "The Trooper" thumping in my chest, I got it. The PEM wasn't really for Zack's benefit. It was to psych us up, take away some of Zack's mojo, you know, "take the piss out," as the Brits say. Right about the time Dickinson was belting "As you plunge into certain death" I was pumped, SIR charged and ready, eyes fixed on this growing, closing horde. I was, like, "C'mon, Zack, let's fuckin' do this!"
-Todd Wainios
on the opening moments of the Battle of Hope Town
World War Z

Well, as of about 6pm EST, Jan 1st 2007, my sister has moved out of the house.

To Seattle. Holy shit.

She might be back in 6 months though. I guess it depends on how things go for her out there. But okay then. Guess I'll just hang out here for awhile.

[insert psuedo-intellectual "deep" thought on the previous year(2006)]
[insert aspiringly hopeful thoughts on the upcoming year(2007)]

It's Goal Setting Time, folks!

Haha, this one is good too!


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The Ant and the Grasshopper

Old Version

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

Moral of the Story:

Be responsible for yourself!

The Ant and the Grasshopper

New Version

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green"

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

John Kerry and John Edwards exclaim in an interview with Dan Rather that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share." Rather displays documents, verified by "experts", proving this.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

Moral of the Story:

Vote

In partial response to a few posts I have been reading recently, I am going to tell a joke that I hope offends people, or at least makes them shake their stupid little heads. Me, I find it fucking funny as shit.
--------------------------------
A young teenage girl was about to finish her first year of college. She considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat but her father was a rather staunch Republican.

One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to taxes and welfare programs. He stopped her and asked her how she was doing in school.

She answered that she had a 4.0 GPA but it was really tough. She had to study all the time, never had time to go out and party. She didn't have time for a boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends because of spending all her time studying.

He asked, "How about your friend Mary?" She replied that Mary was barely getting by. She had a 2.0 GPA, never studied, but was very popular on campus, went to all the parties all the time. How she often didn't show up for classes because she was hung over.

Dad then asked his daughter why she didn't go to the Dean's office and ask to take 1.0 off her 4.0 and give it to her friend who only had a 2.0. That way they would both have a 3.0 GPA.

The daughter angrily fired back, "That wouldn't be fair, I worked really hard for mine and Mary has done nothing".

The father slowly smiled and said, "Welcome to the Republican Party".

So...apparently I have a facebook. Dunno how THAT happened, but there it was all ready to go. Or something? Anyways, I don't fucking know, but I guess you can find me on there.

Weird.

So this last weekend was my yearly jaunt to see Tony Robbins, and probably the best so far.

Yes I walked on a bed of hot coals. And yeah, overcoming bullshit limiting beliefs was in there too. All the usual stuff, and although I could write tomes about the first three days, that's not wht made it the best. I actually stayed for the fourth day this time, which was the health day. And now I'm kinda dissapointed that I didn't stay for it at one of the other ones.

He makes a lot of good points, and talks a lot about being healthy(obviously), everything from breathing correctly to the best workouts to eating right. So I took a lot of it to heart, what with my being a big ol fatty and all, and now I've adopted a much healthier lifestyle. I've always been going to the gym anyways, but now I'm eating the right things to give me more energy and actually get into good shape. Some major changed in diet were needed, and some not-so-major, but it's been pretty easy. Lots of raw foods, green veggies, cut back on the meat and dairy a whole lot. Get the right fatty acids and the right balance of food.

In the end, I'm mostly just excited about the results. It's been a week, and maybe I've lost a little weight, but I am looking forward to a month or two from now. I am pretty energetic already, but with the right body and more natural energy, it's gonna be NUTS. NUTS I tell you.

So I am going to Anthony Robbins again this year. It's good, man. Real good.

Yeah, it's been awhile since I've updated. I've been busy! Dunno what to say, really. I have been getting more and more busy, which is a good thing.

Recently I've had some life-defining moments, sort of. Like, you read enough and listen to enough and watch enough self-development stuff, and eventually SOMETHING'S gonna stick, I guess. I read "Secrets of the Millionaire Mind" and it was so great, totally changed the way I saw a lot of things.

THEN I watched The Secret, and holy shit, that was it. Game over, I've watched it a bunch of times. That damn movie/documentary is, like, exactly my world view, and it's so great. Vanessa and Bryan even watched it, although Bry slept through a lot. And Vanessa liked it "okay", I think. I dunno! But man, I love it love it love it.

So it's all good, nice to see things are starting to get rolling. Now I just need to go woo some HOT CHICK. But hey, that'll be simple, I figure. Anybody got the "hook up"?

Or something?

Also, I've been going to the gym a lot more lately, three times a week in the morning. Wake up at 5:30am, get to the gym by 6:30am, out by 7:15am or so, changed and ready to rock the day. Rock the day hard.
It's been easier to get up in the morning, so that's good. And I am always developing my "people person" skills, I think, always getting better. And it shows!

So that's it for now I guess.

Entry Pending! Like, Saturday evening!
Edit: Whoa man, I was away all day long. Sunday morning then!

"All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy."
-Scott Alexander

As many of you know, if you talk to me about something, I usually have some sort of advice to give on the subject, ESPECIALLY if you are venting about something.

Well, I am done with that noise. I used to think that I was helping, but I really am not! See, people can be comforted by something I say, but not actually take it to heart. I can tell someone they are not a failure, that they are a fantastic, wonderful person capable of doing anything they want if they would just reach out and grab it, and it will make them feel good to hear that. But after all is said and done, they don't actually believe it, so the next thing I know I'm hearing about them admitting to being a failure in their minds.

I let shit like this bother me to the point of just.. PURE fury. Not anymore. If someone isn't asking for advice, it's becuase they don't really want it. And if they don't want it, I can give it all day long and they won't actually take anything away from it except MAYBE a warm fuzzy feeling. Fuck that.

So my new policy is this. I will listen to you vent, I am always available to vent to. You need a punching bag when you feel awful? I'm a pretty tough dude, I can take anything you can dish out.
BUT, I will not offer any advice. I will respond, maybe say a nice thing or two, but I will NOT give advice unless you ask for it. Oh, I'll HAVE advice, and plenty of opinions and things to say about the matter, but I'm gonna do my best to not share any of it. Becuase you asking for it is the ONLY commitment worth a damn that you will actually take said advice to heart. Otherwise I am just wasteing my breath. That's just how it is.

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It's hard, sometimes, to give advice to your friends, when you know that advice is for them to do something they don't want to do. Or when you KNOW something, but you need to guide them into discovering it for themselves.
And sometimes maybe you give too much. Then they lose appreciation of it, and it loses it's impact.
I dunno, maybe I am just a jerk sometimes and I like to pretend I'm helping people. Do they appreciate it, or is it just a "Oh man, Jake is talking again, humor him!" situation? I just hate to see my friends in pain, and feel helpless. I want to help people, that's what I believe my life is about, but it sucks when I don't have the resources to do so. Fuck. I just empathize with people too easily, maybe.

On a different note, I saw The Descent the other day. It was good, I liked it. And the environment of the theater was great, people screaming like crazy, but in a good way, that supplimented the intensity of the movie. So that was good.

I'm sure a shit-ton of other stuff has happened since the last time I updated. Dunno what to say about it though. life keeps on going, you just gotta make your choices and do what's best for you.